18 March 2005

Tough news.

When we finally arrived at the hospital in Gothenburg, we looked up the mother & baby unit as the midwife in Borås told us to do. Now afterwards, I realise that perhaps it had not been so wise to take the car, in the state we were. The passenger seat folded to lying posstion for my wife to stand the pain, and myself with a focus on the road equivalent to a blood alcohol content of half a per cent on the alco meter. But it seemed such a hazzle to have the car left behind in Borås. We were just going for a quick check at the hospital i Gothenburg, weren't we?

Staff at Queen Silvias Hospital's M&C unit welcomed us with the head tilted to one side saying things like "Oh it is you, ooh, come here dear and we'll help see what we can do." We got a room and were offered some food.
Don't think we had much to eat at all, to be honest. We only wanted to see our child. "It's quite a distance to walk, I'm going to organize with a wheelchair," said a helpful midwife.

After a five minute safari in the underground corridors, we rolled in to the children's cardiac unit at Queen Silvia Children's Hospital. We were shown in to room three, the department's 24h guarded room, where three children's cardiologs (child heart specialists) was investigating Abbes heart, with an ultrasound machine. He was connected to so many wires and hoses that I hardly saw the small body behind all the equipment. They spoke a language that certainly was for the most part Swedish, yet was not possible to understand for us. But the focused tone of their conversation gave a hint of a moment of truth.

– Uh, we'll have to sit down in peace and quiet with you a little later and talk about your sons heart condition eh… you have understood that he has a congenital heart defect, haven't you? said one of cardiologes.

Smack! Just like that. Just what we didn't want to hear. The room was spinning and panic filled my body. "Erh...no," I managed to say. "Or, should I say yes, I think we're starting to realize it now," I stuttered. He couldn't of course know what information we had received or not before. We just stepped into the room. I don't blame him, not at all. To be honest, I don't know if there is would have been any other way to find out about it, that had been better. Frankly, I don't think there is a good way to learn that your newborn has a heart defect.

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