7 October 2007

Is everything really relative?

"...and she had pockmarks all over and very high fever. But that’s of course nothing compared to what you’ve been through".

Sometimes, I feel as if people are ashamed of telling me about something tough they’ve been through with their children. As if it didn’t really count. As if a tummy bug wasn’t good enough when speaking with someone like me, who practically has a discount card at the Children’s hospital. They almost excuse themselves because they think a night at A&E has been a hard one .

But why? We all have our own archive of experiences. Of course we have the right to feel sad because our child has hurt his or her knee or got tonsillitis. It’s perfectly natural, inevitable and also enriching, I think. My register of tough moments with the children might be larger, but that doesn’t mean other people’s are less painful.

A mate of mine and his wife went through a dreadful thing some years ago, while expecting their first child. They now have a wonderful little princess and my friend told me they had got a completely new perspective on life after having read about Abbe here. A bit like “our-life-is-not-that-bad-after-all” kind of thing.

I don’t think there’s any point in comparing all the time. But, if it means you look on life on the brighter side, well – why not.

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